Stopped at a Rite Aid for two bottles of Cheerwine. I taste Cheerwine and vodka in my future, and that makes me happy. And jealous of my future self, who is not driving a UHaul, and gets to enjoy that drink.
I can tell that The Girlfriend is starting to get more comfortable driving the truck. She’s starting to curse at other drivers in Spanish for being too slow.
I’ve never seen a kid with so much energy as The Girlfriend’s cousin. He’s probably about 7, and WIRED, but adorable. Thank god his dad denied him the Red Bull he wanted with lunch. Kid was hilarious though- I told him that I remembered meeting him when he was about four, and he sighed loudly and declared, “I never remember my childhood.” I almost lost it.
Had a nice picnic lunch in a cute park in Charlotte. It was HOT out. They had one of those fountain things that children play in, and I very seriously considered jumping in. Then I reconsidered when I realized I’d look like a creeper. I thought about trying to get the dog to run through it so that I could pretend to be chasing after her, but she thinks she is a cat and is terrified of water, so that plan wouldn’t have worked either. Failed master plans: 2, Christina: 0.
Back on the road again now, heading to Williamsburg. Can’t wait!
Day two of the Great American UHaul Adventure is about to begin. No major damage done yet, except for nearly suffering puncture wounds in my neck at the hands (paws?) of the puppy when she saw the UHaul this morning and realized she was in for another day of driving. Maybe we should have invested in some puppy tranquilizers. Mental note for next time.
Now we’re off to Charlotte, and a mini family reunion of sorts. We are having lunch with The Girlfriend’s uncle, aunt, cousins, another uncle, maybe his fiancé, and the doctor who delivered The Girlfriend when she was born. And no, I’m not kidding about that last part. Love it.
Just saw a billboard that said Rush Limbaugh: Saving the soul of America.
I’d make a joke, but I think that one’s humorous enough to stand on it’s own.
Irony is when there’s a Latina lesbian driving a UHaul with Arizona tags through South Carolina, blasting “La locura automatica” and singing at the top of her lungs.
I think road trips are an excuse to listen to music you’d never listen to otherwise, only because five hours in you’ve run out of options.
The Girlfriend just belted out the entirety of “I’m like a bird.” I haven’t heard that song for like six years. Now it’s Backstreet Boys. Or N’Sync. I still can’t tell the difference.
We sang aloud to “American Pie” twice in an hour. Classic. If I hear it a third time though I might scream.
Also, Georgia just gave the Bible Belt a whole new meaning. “Break Even” is on the radio, and apparently is too secular for this crowd. The Georgia radio-edit changed the lyrics from “Just prayed to a God that I don’t believe in” to “No wise words gonna stop the bleedin’” Dear God. Or Not God. Or whatever won’t get me in trouble here in good ol’ GA.
We finally got on the road around 11:30 after one final hellacious experience with the Florida DMV. I certainly won’t miss having a car!
A couple of hours later we were approaching Gainesville, which The Girlfriend was super excited about, because that’s where she was born. Unfortunately, she was underwhelmed- her mom got a text shortly thereafter proclaiming that “Gainesville’s a shithole.” Apparently from now on she’s disowning the land of the Gators and claiming Miami as her birthplace.
The Dog is loving the UHaul. She’s loving it so much that I’m pretty sure she tried to drown herself in her water dish. We managed to talk her down, but it was a bit touch-and-go for a while.
